Well... It's around 9 a.m. over here and I don't know what to do on tragic-wow so I'm gonna try to give an INDEPTH ANALYSIS about Edinson's cerebral cortex. To understand what I'm talking about here, you must refer to the following application of the Legendary Edinson, human paladin of Magic-wow: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Let's try to figure out what the hell may happen in such a half-destroyed brain of a human being, and let's try to guess what he was thinking about when he answered to the different questions asked in the application to join our guild. This is a SERIOUS post and it will require an important level of psychological knowledge to be properly established so DO NOT DELETE THIS. Furthermore, it might be useful for the following generations who would wonder why Edinson/Pudim de Alcool/Romanos/...raids are failing so hard. Therefore, that's why I incite you to read it until the end.
Q1: nothing special
Q2: "...provide a link to your talents.." ==> Edinson: "Fuck this I'm gonna write all the skills with the points I put it in. Maybe if I put a wall of text I'll be considered a pro pve guy OH YEAH !"
Q3: "Please link a screenshot of your character panel..." ==> Edinson: "A screenshot ??? WTF is that ??? Fuck this, only thing which is important is GEARSCORE. I'm gonna put an average of 6.1k for all my 3 specs, 6.1k for tank, 6.2k for dps and 6k for holy. By this way I'm probably gonna be considered a pro pve guy OH YEAH !" [Read this topic until the end please, you will notice that Edinson actually understood what a screenshot is...or not ! (the key is at the answer to Q15.e)]
Q4: "...gender" ==> Edinson: "MASCULINO ! Puta madre de pantalones !!!"
Q5: "What's your time zone ?" [True answer: whenever you look at LFGA, you're sure to find Edinson leading a raid. So there are 99% chances he only keeps 1 hour per day to eat, to pee and shit (at the same time ofc cuz people are waiting for him to tank), to take a shower and to brush his teeth.]
Q6: "What are your previous guilds and WHY did you leave them ?" ==> Edinson: "Hmmm..let's say I'm Guild Master from Revamp, everyone knows it's a pro pve guild. And why the fuck do they ask me why I'm leaving it uh ? Who are they ? Are they working for the FBI ? Screw it !"
Q7: "How did you hear about Aftermath ?" ==> Edinson: "A friend ask MY (/commit suicide) join here" ... [Well I think he's talking about ME, Veo, as his friend... I ensure it's a TOTAL FAKE INFO, I only "redirected" him to the forum
Q8: "How long have you been playing WoW ? Include a link to your armory account." ===> Edinson: "10 hours. And why the fuck are they boring me with their links ?!?!? Screw it." [Well, at this part of the application, if you are victim of a crazy laugh, don't panic, it's totally normal, just go grab a glass of water and listen to some Celine Dion's depressive song to chillax.]
Q9: "...raiding experience, include as much information as possible" ==> Edinson: "I'm Edinson, just like Bruce Willis in Armaggeddon, I raped and killed EVERYTHING. Absolutely EVERYTHING: im done (auxiliary HAVE ? what is that ? never heard about it..) icc, toc, nm and hc ulduar, naxx ALL tactics, ALL BOSS (yeah singular please, /commit suicide reloaded). That's all."
Q10: "Are you willing to lead raids ?" ==> Edinson: "Yeah ALL TIME I'm making raids" [I told you this guy has only 1 hour in the day to spend in the "real-afk-life"
Q11: "...addons" [At least he found how to download and install something. There's still a hope for him to improve, I believe in him guys, I believe in him...]
Q12: "Do you have VENTRILO ?" ==> Edinson: "Yes im have SKYPE" [I told you he was improving: he seems to suddenly remember that English language has the auxiliary HAVE xD]
Q13: "...the 3 test raids part..." ==> Edinson: "yes im understand ruleZ from aftermath guild" [no comment... Shit I was wrong, there's nothing we can do for him, maybe /commit suicide again]
Q14: "Have you read, understood and agreed to the guild rules, raid rolling rules,...." ==> Edinson: "¿ Qué ? ¿ Porqué are they asking me si I understood their mierda ? I've been lost at the second line of this fucking wall of text ! Screw it too I m gonna say YES"
Q15: Answer the following questions to your knowledge about ALL the characters you're applying with." ==> Edinson: "Edinson." [No you're not dreaming, this guy just thought he was answering the question by saying with what character he was playing...as if we could have forgotten it !!! Refer to the answer to the previous question, I'm sure he's understanding absolutely ANYTHING !]
Q15.a): "List the stats for your class, from the most important to the least important, and WHY did you list them in this particular order ?" ==> Edinson: "Oh my god, those guys are noobs or what ? First MOST IMPORTANT STAT EVER IS GEARSCORE !!! Hmmm...DAMAGE is also a stat, AP too, then let s put something like strength, hit, crit, sugar, salt, pepper, ... wait no nvm let's stop after crit, I m gonna give them the amount of strength, hit, spell and crit and screw it. WHY THE HELL are they asking me why I listed them like that ? I think those guys are special agents who know that I'm a pro pve player and they wanna know my secrets jajaja ! Screw this I'm not gonna answer"
Q15.b): "...professions..are they leveled to 450 and why did you choose those particular ones" ==> Edinson: "BS - 450 full, Tailoring - 450 full. And FUCK YOU SPECIAL AGENTS I'm not gonna tell you why I choose that jajajajaja" [According to me, he has no idea why he chose those ones but I bet it was one day after noticing that people were selling Eternal Belt Buckles in Auction House and therefore, he wanted to earn his own ORO and about tailoring, everyone knows Aladdin was a robber too so basicly Edinson, the well-known ninja of Magic-wow, chose to travel on a flying carpet too, just like Aladdin was used to do
Q15.c)i-: "DPS: what is your average DPS
in any boss encounter in ToC or ICC (include the name of the boss and mode of encounter [IE. 10 man heroic Lord Marrowgar])" ==> Edinson: "Screw this ! LET'S ROLL TWICE: /roll (6000-12000). Oh nice: 8491 and 10872. So let's say an average of 8.5k to 11k dps" [No jokes, I'm pretty sure that's how he got it
Q15.c)ii-: "Healers: what is your average percentage of total healing done
in any boss encounter in ToC or ICC (include the name of the boss and mode of encounter [IE. 10 man heroic Lord Marrowgar])" ==> Edinson: "Always top 1,2 or 3. And putamadre qué es "average" ???" [Ok let me explain this. It's actually true that Edinson is always in the top healing part: he's always 1st when he's solo healing, he's second when there are two healers and basicly 3rd when there are three...]
Q15.c)iii-: "Tanks: are you normally a main tank or off tank ? How do you maintain threat ?" ==> Edinson: "im MT 50k hp, im can take threat fast never loss" [How does he maintain threat ? Who cares, he's a super HEROOOO yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa]
Q15.d): "What is your view on classes rolling on items not specifically designed for them ? (Example: Warriors and Paladins rolling on agility gear)" ==> Edinson: "Well i know Agility in magic increase crit. but i no use agility item im only use plate" [Guys I swear this guy actually know some things about WoW ("agility increases crit FTW"). Maybe if some day he notices that a dictionnary can increase his english-speaking level, I'm gonna try to explain 2-3 tips. Not sure though...]
Q15.e): "...post a screenshot of your dps at the Heroic Training Dummy..." ==> Edinson: "Wait...a screenshot...isn't it what comes when men feel an orgasm ? OH FUCK OFF NASTY BASTARDS !!!"
Q17: "In your own words, explain ONE of the following three encounters..." ==> Edinson: "Hummm..the name of the boss is rotface, mobs are called oozes, MT tanks boss, OT tanks mobs running around in the room, the dpsers dps, the healers heal, and not only the priests but also the entire raid composed of the poor people who joined me by mistake are praying hard for us not to wipe like pieces of shit. That's how you kill Rotface 25 hc, thank you goodbye.
Well... I have nothing else to say except that it's up to YOU guys to inform your young brothers, sisters, relatives, neighbours, and all the people you know about the importance of the english mastery in the current world we're living in. Needless to say that you must underline the fact that it's considered a common language and everyone SHALL know how to communicate by this way.
For those who've been wondering for so long now why those isolated-clans guilds are so stupid and bad, I think this topic will give you an idea of answer. However, my advice is: GET VERY FAR FROM THEM !!!
Edinson...a long time ago, a girl told me that mistakes are human... No hard feelings man but honnestly, you're the BIGGEST HUMAN I've ever met...